Studying? yeah, right.

What's the greatest enemy of studying?

The internet.

Seriously, I'm about ready to call a no-electronics day!  I have to disconnect my ethernet cord and turn off Airport to get much studying done.  Class material is slowly becoming more and more electronic.  My gov't class is half online articles, half regular printed ones.  My Ancient World class is the same way, so is my economics class.  Quizzes, tests, study sheets, notes, articles and other reading material, instructions, syllabus... It's all online.

"That must be great!" you say?  "Everything is so easy to access!"

Yes.

But guess what else is on the internet....

Facebook, the home of Flair and stalking.  Abc.go.com, the home of Dirty Sexy Money, Desparate Housewives, etc.  AbcFamily.com, where new episodes of Greek and One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl appear.  Knitty.com, Knotions.com, Yarn Harlot, Panopticon, Style.com, websudoku.com, foxnews.com and CNN.com and Comics.com!

It was  great idea, the TAB option...  I mean, I can have my homework in one tab, then I'll be only a click away from a television show or knitting blog.

I've taken to setting my watch to 15-minute timer.  I'll ready/study for 15 minutes, then take at 5 minute break.... or a 10 minute break..... or... well, you get the picture?

This is why I don't want a job that puts me at a computer.

Knitting update!  I went to a shop called Knaughty Knitter in Murfreesboro this Friday night.  I bought 100% handspun Uruguayan wool in a delicious color: burgundy.  I'm going to make a short scarf in feather-and-fan pattern.  Hopefully I can buy some big sparkly broach and use it as a pin?  I'm in love, needless to say.

I also bought some very pure white kid mohair.  It's for a gift I'm giving a friend of mine who is getting married.  I'm going to give her a regular gift - a toaster or something - and also a handknit garter.  It'll have a very red ribbon through it.  I'll post pictures once I'm cast on.

I'm getting up tomorrow to take a walk.  I find that without regular exercise, I become a restless, edgy, annoyed person.  So, 5:30AM, hello sunrise!  (actually, the sun won't rise til 6:35 according to weather.com)

I found a great quote for the weather text tomorrow morning.

What is the weather text, you ask?

Last year, sometime in the fall, there was a very rainy day.  It has long been my routine to get online first thing in the morning and look at the day's forecast.  So, naturally, I was armed for the rain.  After three or four people said something along the lines of "I had no idea it was going to rain all day!  I wish I'd brought my umbrella!"  I got curious.  So, I asked people.

"Don't you check the weather forecast before you leave your room in the morning?"

And was stared at as if I'd just got off the banana boat.

O......k...... Something must be done!  And so, the weather text was invented.  I got up one morning and texted all my friends, telling them what the weather would be like that day.  They loved it.  I now text around 85 people every morning, usually including some cute quote or encouragement.

Back to tomorrow's weather text.  I was listening to a song by Natasha Beddingfield and it says this:

"A face without freckles is like a sky without the stars.  Why waste a second not loving who you are?"  It goes on to say... "Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valueable, they show your personality inside your heart, reflecting who you are."

Sweet, huh?

Well, that American Government exam isn't going to take itself.  I've got to get back to studying.  *sigh*  Maybe I'll find time this week to go sit at Angel Hair for a while.  After all, if I'm going to work at a shop, I might as well get involved with one early!

P.S. 95 days til Christmas!

I've been knitting!!!

The past two weeks have been unbelievable.  The 2+ hours of sorority stuff every night and 100+ pages of reading to do a day were pretty much overwhelming, but I'm still alive and got to take a nap today!!! (without skipping class to do it, haha)

There's still lot going on and it makes me reflect on how much is too much.  So many of these college kids seem to have been raised to move from one activity to another.  They're in 4 clubs and taking 19 hours and volunteering and working... Every time I try to do that, I fall apart.  As soon as I stop getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night, I become a depressed version of my normal self.  I'd rather be a very happy - if disappointingly inactive - version of myself than a stressed out, eye-twitching version of myself, you know?

I honestly don't understand what is to be gained by living such a crazy busy life, anyway.  Besides a better job someday?

I got a new keyboard!  Well, actually, I traded my old one with a friend to get this one.  Here's a picture! :) It's still in the box there, but that's really how thin it is!!! And it's not even as wide as the box, if you can imagine.  A tiny little keyboard.  I LOVE IT!!!!!

Okay, so back to my knitting!!! I finally got time to go check out Angel Hair Yarn Co. here in Greenhills, TN.  I was actually pretty disappointed.  I believe they were picked over from the weekend, but there wasn't much of a yarn selection (not compared to Crafty Hands back home).  As a result, it took me a while to find what I wanted, but I eventually picked up some stuff... I don't remember what and I'm too lazy to go find it.  I cast on for some fingerless mitts and I'll post pictures eventually.

I was going to upload a video for ya, but it's not working.  So you'll have to go without!  Too bad...

Back to reading my 100 pages for the night.

Deep Thoughts

I'm sitting in my dorm room, watching Ace of Cakes and ignoring the mile-long To Do list in my planner...

Knitting?  Yeah, haven't been doing that much lately.  Between twice-a-week Program Board Meetings and 3 hours minimum in the PB office, two-hour-a-day sorority recruitment practice and Dr. Byrne's 30+ pages per night of reading, I'm barely treading water.  I was called yesterday and asked if I would make 200 cupcake-cheesecakes for next Friday.  I said yes (bangs head against wall).  I'm such an idiot.

I've done a lot of deep thinking lately.  I don't like deep thinking, but it's time to do some.

Two of my close buddies here are seriously considering transferring.  Both are figuring out what they'll do in the future.  I've been thinking about that, too.  After I graduate, do I want to get a job with a big business?  Become a manager or founder of a small business?  Start my own wedding planning or knitting shop?  If I did decide to do one of those things, I need to get involved with those businesses and learn about them.  I do have a better idea of what I like to do:  I like to work with people, to interact with customers and be in an active space.  In other words, it's time to start planning, preparing and saving.

I still feel insecure here.  I love being with my family and I don't like living somewhere where I don't feel like I have anyone who 'takes care of me.'  I don't mean that I need someone cooking my meals and doing my laundry, I mean purely in a social and emotional sense. I am myself when I feel safe, and I feel safe when I'm with people I've known for a looong time.  This is why I love spending time with Maura or Deborah or other high school friends.  Why I love being at home with my Mom.  These people know me and love me and I trust them.  Sure, I have friends here, but none that are close like that.  Not yet, anyway.

I don't mean that I can't make new friends.  I can and do enjoy making new friends.  But I feel like I need the support and reassurance of my family and old friends on a more regular basis than I'm receiving now.  If I spend a couple hours with my family or an old friend every day, I make new friends faster.  Does that make sense?

A friend today told me that I should try and find my security within myself, to learn to create my own security where I am and not rely on my family so much.

I believe this reliance on my family developed in middle school, when I changed schools after 5th grade and then after 6th grade and again after 7th grade.  We also changed churches within those years.  I was in a different environment every year and wasn't allowed to create and keep friendships for an extended period of time.  The only people who remained constant in that turmoil were my family members.

Now I need to decide if my friends' idea that now is the time to "break away and create your own path" is the correct one, or simply a result of public schools encouraging separation from family as part of life.  There are no great emotional or social or other disfunctions in my family.  We're very healthy people - both mind and body.

What to do?  *sigh*