Now what?!

Now what do I knit?  I've done nothing but holiday scarves for weeks.  It's all done and I need a new project.

I have plenty of Silk Garden left over from Dad's, a whole skein of plain black-and-gray wool I could use...  Perhaps it's time to make some mittens.  I cast on for a pair several weeks ago with a silk garden blend that I've come to think of as a little ugly.

Problem solved.

I'm off to tear out a pair of ugly half-mittens!

Merry Christmas!

Weather: 44 and sunny.

Location: Home, kitchen, listening to others playing with their gifts (mostly noisy things like a keyboard and speakers)

Mood:  Ecstatic!

Christmas day dawned bright, but the black curtains in my room left me in blissful darkness until my alarm woke me promptly at 9.  Believe it or not, I hit snooze three times.  I suppose Christmas becomes calmer over time.  Gone are the days I would jump out of bed enthusiastically.  Now I look forward to giving gifts as much as receiving them.

A hand-knit scarf was my gift to both parents and my little brother.  I bought jewelry for my sister, who is a knitter herself and understands why the effort put into the others prevented her from being given a hand-made.  Robert (brother) literally gasped when he opened the box and saw his scarf.  He loved the colors and cable and how soft it is.  My Mom was very touched at the Waves of Grain scarf I made for her.  She's seen me laboring over it for a week, knitting every spare moment, inch slowly following inch.  I fumbled the grafting in the middle and one of the ends, but it's all so small, you can't really tell.  She loved it.  I surprised Daddy with a Noro Silk Garden and a plain gray/black wool stripe scarf.  The Noro is a series of bright, masculine colors (greens, red, brown, blues, even white).  It is simple and smooth enough to match even his most formal coat and shirt and ties.

I feel loved.  Nearly everything on my list was given to me, and a few surprises, too!  More than that, I've spent so many hours with my family and I get homesick just thinking about the return to school.

There's so much to look forward to.  Merry Christmas!

Two Things You Must See

FireMeetsDesire.com Burger King Cologne (hint of flame-broiled meat)

Pandora.com Free radio, perfect for Christmas music! Create an account - it's free and quick - then start listening to music.  Give songs thumbs-up if you like them, down if you don't so you hear more of what you enjoy and less of what you don't!

What is the slowest thing you can think of?

Mother's scarf knits slowly... Slowly like the tractor down Three Springs Road when you cannot pass.  Slowly like Robert and Melanie when it's time to do chores.  Slowly like the clock turns when the house is ready and you're waiting on the beloved friends to finally get here.  Slowly like the time it takes for the water to finally boil so that you can pour it into the press and make coffee.  It can't come quick enough, and quickly it is not coming.  I trudge on.

Current Location:  Home for the Holidays in Bowling Green, KY.

Temperature Outside: Cold and humid = miserable

Past week: Finished exams and did horridly on all of them, am petrified to see results. Avoiding Belmont-related web pages because of it.  Spent a night at Opryland (I know... again?!) Ate out twice a day or more every day this week, shopped a lot but none of it was Christmas shopping. Received pair of very high heels, beautiful brown and gold and khaki heels.  Did not knit enough and am trying to knit behind mother's back (hard to do because she tends to flitter around a lot and pops up all over the place).

Quote for week:  "I'm going to marry you. Let's get married tomorrow." - my friend, a bit intoxicated, to me, who is always sober.

Mood:  Peaceful, missing people, but I know such feelings will pass and two days from now I won't be able to picture life differently.

Tonight: Youth Group is coming over for annual Christmas party.  Mom is worried cause Daddy is still out of town, but I'm here to help.  Little sister's two best friends are staying over, so we'll all be up late.

Knitting:  Have finished first two charts of Waves of Grain, am now repeating two rows until desired half-way length, then shall do it all over again.  In other words, SLOW!  Not good, considering what is left to be done in the next.... 7 days.  That's right. 7 days. *panic*

To do: Buy Silk Garden for Daddy's scarf!  I was going to knit him some socks but this scarf will be faster, easier, and more useful for him.  Problem is, I haven't bought the yarn, yet... Let alone started!

Pedicure + No Sleep = Recipe for lethargy.

Today:

Mom bought me an adorable little cocktail dress, chocolate brown with gold zippers.

Took a huge exam, not sure how I did...

Had dinner/snack with my sister, brother, Trev, Jeff and Mom. Love those people.

Got a pedicure!

After much thought and discussion with Dad, the decision was made not to buy a yarn store.  I am, after all, only halfway through my sophomore year of college.  I'm not exactly ready to live on my own, yet! Let alone work full time and be responsible for a  business.

The past week has been so much fun!  I've spent the majority of my time with my closest friends, done lots of shopping and gotten very little sleep.  I took my first final today and have a second tomorrow, another two on Monday.  Looking forward to the weekend!

Mother's scarf has been cast on and is 8 rows in!  As you know, I'm using Shimmer Galaxy, a laceweight yarn from knitpicks (it finally arrived Monday).  I bought beads and have chosen the Waves of Grain pattern from knitty.com.  It's going to be absolutely beautiful with the jewel-toned beads and subtle color changes in the yarn.  I am so very excited about this!

Well, I have two papers to revise and then I'm hitting the hay before midnight for the first time in days and days.

Wishing you all the best this Holiday Season,

Kathleen

A good plan, violently executed.

Patton once said, "A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week."

I am at home in Bowling Green for at least another couple hours.  The past few days were sort of mind-blowing.

First I found out - through a email list that I just signed up for - that a local yarn store is closing.  Sad, but no big deal, there are three others...

Except, this was the very store that I wanted to start going to every week next semester and eventually buy/take over when I graduated.  It's in an excellent part of town and has been around for 14 years.  They have a rep with yarn wholesellers and the local yarn arts community.  In the email is a little note saying the shop is "still currently available... should one (or some) of you decide that is a viable (albeit last minute) option."

I switched to an entrepreneurship major because I want to own my own business.

The business I want to own is a yarn store.

Fate?

Well, it's not that simple, of course.  Owning a business is no joke and I'm 19 years old.  I've been in conversation with the women who currently own the store and they're asking $100,000.  Daddy, a little help, please?

You only live once.  It would be cheaper to obtain a yarn store that already has a reputation with locals and wholesellers and a great location than opening one from scratch two and a half years from now.

But am I ready to move out?  I mean, I'd quit school and get an apartment.  Who knows when I'd next have a vacation?  I wouldn't be home for the summer or new years, probably would only come home for a day for Christmas...  That scares me to death and makes me feel ill, but I love people and I love knitting...

I also don't have a lot of knitting experience under my belt.  I mean, I've been at the needles for less than 5 years and haven't so much as felted an item, tried fair isle, or knit more than one cardigan.  Not too encouraging when it comes to teaching and answering questions when people come in with problems.

I can't know for sure that the women who own it now would be willing to stick around and help me out.  I'm sure they'd love to teach me a few things, but I can't take over all of their classes and such, not without breaking my back learning the techniques myself first.

I'll pick up their financial statements of the last 4-5 years tomorrow.  We'll see what it looks like and go from there.

Dive in head first, right?

And the hours tick slowly by as I wait for my KnitPicks package to arrive...

In it: two skeins of Shimmer Hand Dyed Lace Yarn in Galaxy (the purple), one skein of Gloss Sock Yarn in Cocoa.

The Galaxy is for Mother's lace scarf.  I am planning on using a pattern from Knitting Little Luxuries, haven't decided on which, yet.  Daddy will be given a pair of socks, which I plan to spice up with some red sck yarn I have left over from who knows when  - a year ago? this summer?  I need to get started on both projects.. But first I need that dang yarn to arrive!

Last night my close friends and I exchanged Christmas gifts.  I know it's early, but we were all so very excited about what we'd purchased for each other, we couldn't wait!  I received a NAP blanket from Brooks Brothers (if you haven't touched them, shame on you.  Go to your nearest brooks brothers store. NOW! haha), a pair of scandalous underwear from Victoria's Secret, a beautiful scarf and two knitting books (both of which I love).  More about those below.  First, some pictures!

These were taken in the boys' apartment on campus.  This is Chris (left), Kate and Jeff, opening the gifts I got for them.  They each received a hand-written note, a mix CD with songs I thought they'd like and that reminded me of them and a Christmas ornament reflective of their personalities.  They were enthralled (much to my satisfaction) and I succeeded in spending a small amount but still communicating a lot of love with it!

They made me open ALL my gifts next, because theirs were so perfect.  It was quite a fun time!  Above you see me trying to hide the underwear.

This picture showcases most of my gifts.  I'm holding one of the amazing books, the other is tucked in the corner of you couch and you see my blanket on my lap (VS bag not yet opened, see above).  I LOVED them all!!!  I'm surprised Jeff looks so interested in the knitting book!

Pictures at Last!

Urchin Beret, knitty.com in Lions Brand wool (couldn't find a real yarn store!)  A big thank you to Melanie for modeling even though she wasn't wearing makeup that day!

Charlotte Purse from Knitting Little Luxuries by Louisa Harding, knit in Merino with flowers and stem made of bamboo, mohair and alpaca.

By the way, I am in love with Etsy!!!  The whole site is so inspiring and creative.  I highly recommend that you click on "buy"and then try some of the fun ways to shop - especially "shop by color!"  It's wonderful!!!

It's funny, but I'm watching A Christmas Story (it's on TNT), and right after they buy the tree, "Mom" is wearing what looks like the Grown Up Bonnet from Knit 2 Together.  It's a scarf with a bonnet on it!  Very cool.

People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest.

People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest.
George Matthew Allen

Yesterday's adventure: cooked a Derby Pie. It is delicious.

Knitting Update: Finished a small bag last week - including embroidered stem and knit flowers, I-cord drawstring. It's beautiful, will add pictures soon as internet is returned to my room. Also knit a beret on the ride home, which I gave to a friend because my hair is anti-hats. Went internet shopping and bought yarn for mother's christmas present (a beautiful lace scarf in royal purple) and sock yarn (for self, I hope). I can't wait for the shipment to arrive!

Weather in Nashville Today: Sunny and 46 degrees. It snowed a lot yesterday but none of it stuck :'(. It's pretty out today, though!

Today I feel: like taking a nap, eating green food, relaxed.

Upcoming Events: exams! Next week will begin Hell Week 2 of this semester. But it will all be over soon.

Recent Disappointment: men. ARGH! But I'm over it.

I saw Twilight again today.  It was better the second time.

I went with my mother, who has not read the books but LOVED the movie. Yay, Mom!!!  She couldn't get over how beautiful the stars were.  It sort of blew her away.

On a less-happy note, we went to a yarn store here in Cumming, GA, only to discover that said store has closed down.  It was a sad moment in the knitting world...

My cousin Blair brought his girlfriend to our thanksgiving festivities.  She knits!  In fact, Blair gave her a skein of blue/purple Merino and she decided to knit a beanie with it.  She is using my needles and a pattern from one of my books. :)  I taught her long-tail cast-on and I'm so proud of her!

The reflection for the day:

Why are some boys so confusing?  Most guys are transparent.  They cannot really hide what they want.  But I do not believe that guys and girls can easily be friends.  The relationship usually moves into something more or back into something less.  I am currently in-limbo with a guy friend.  I want more, but I don't know what he wants.  It is unhelpful that we have friends very closely involved in everything.  Sometimes I wonder if there's any friendship at all, or if it's just the two of them pushing the two of us.  Regardless, I wish we could DTR, but I need to take things slow...  "Patience, young padawan," I say to myself as people in the grocery line stare at the strange star-wars-quoting-girl, "It will all be revealed in time."

Currently in Nashville: Chilly, sunny, beautiful.

In Atlanta: I wouldn't know, because I'm not there yet because SOMEBODY is LATE!

That's all the ranting I will be doing on my family's lateness... They're coming to pick me up sometime in the next hour... I hope...

I went yarn shopping yesterday, but when you have only $15 to spend, it's hard to buy real yarn.  I picked up a merino blend that is a combination of coffee/toffee/chocolate colors.  It's truly GORGEOUS!  I knit all during the Predator's game, got half a mitten done, and then tore it all out because it was too big.

Why, do you ask, was I at the Predators game?

Because my friend bought season tickets with her now-ex-boyfriend and she found out yesterday that he was bringing his weird friends and she didn't want to be by herself.  So her new boyfriend bought a ticket to the game.  Turns out Preds tickets only come in twos, so I got to go!  Preds lost.  But it was fun nonetheless.  The older guy next to me was hitting on me and teasing me about my knitting the WHOLE time.  Actually, now that I think about it, I got hit on in the concessions line and in the line coming in.  Guess I was looking good last night! hahaha

So, I've re-started the mitten.  I just finished casting on an eyelet lace edging in pink and will switch to the chocolate later.  I'm hoping this will be Kate's christmas present.

VICTORY is MINE!  My Mother has asked me to teach her to knit over Thanksgiving!!!  Her first lesson will be today.  I'm trying to remember an easy cast-on method, cause all I seem to use these days is cable and long-tail, both of which would overwhelm her.  Regardless, by the end of the weekend, she will hopefully be armed with a washcloth or potholder!

Panic.
That is what insued when I looked in my knitting box and didn't find my little Kit. My Kit is the small, plastic bag with tapestry needles, blocking pins, scissors, etc.
So, I told myself to remain calm and checked my backpack. No luck. The Bond Bag (an llbean tote I got for Christmas with the name "bond" printed on it). The Phi Mu tote. The purses. Drawers. Refridgerator.
Then I called my sister and made the poor woman search my room at home while on the phone with me. I sounded something like this,
"Look in my khaki messenger bag. Check every pocket."
"It's not here."
"Did you check all the pockets?"
"Well, I'm trying but there are a lot of them!"
"CHECK EVERY ONE! Then look under the bed! And on my dresser!"
Poor Melanie.... She never found it.
So, at 8:30 Thursday night, I made an emergency run to Michaels. I bought scissors and tapestry needles. No need to replace blocking pins or stitch markers, yet. I still haven't cracked open the printer and checked inside the air conditioning unit. That will likely happen tomorrow.

Did I mention that I'm sitting in a huge suite in the Opry Land Hotel? I've decided to hang out with rich friends this semester.
In school, you have a "family" at school as well as at home. My family this year consists of my girlfriend Kate - a tall blonde with an addicting laugh and the ability to charm anyone. Her boyfriend Chris - who thinks he's the center of the universe, but it's funny so it's okay. His roommate, Jeff - who wants to be a country music star and shows cattle at fancy rodeos for fun. Both of these boys come from money and very regularly buy food and drive us places (did I mention Jeff drives a very nice BMW?). We spend a lot of time together and I'm truly growing to love these people. I hope that we stay friends for a long time, but you know college... It's always shuffling things around!
Anyway, back to the Opry Land thing. Jeff's parents came into Nashville to join him for a cow show in Louisville on Thursday (they drove from Nashville then back). They decided, Friday night, to rent a suite in the Opry Land Hotel and stay the weekend. This suite is bigger than the boys' apartment. Kate, Chris and I joined them for dinner and to see the Rockettes Saturday night, then the four of us sat in the hotel and chatted until late, then fell asleep on Jeff's couch. Now it's Sunday morning and I'm thoroughly embarrassed to have spent the night in my jeans and pretty t-shirt but I'm doing my best to go with the flow these days. I mean, it's not a bad thing to be in a huge room with a flat-screen tv and my closest friends, is it?
I'm starving, though.
Everyone else is still asleep.
Perhaps I'll go in search of food or room service....

I finished Robert's scarf!  I need to sew in ends and wash it, but then it will be gift-worthy.  I got the guys to give me their opinions.  They consider it very cool.  I am satisfied.

A friend picked up Vogue Knitting for me last night!  I LOVE it!!!  I think I'm going to order stainless steel yarn just to try it thanks to an article about a shop in New York that sells yarn of unique and weird materials.

I also bought Knitting Little Luxuries.  It's a beautiful book with very feminine knits that feature unique additions, such as using buttons as accents and adding flowers and ribbons.  This is the kind of knitting that truly appeals to me.  Girly, lacy, embroidery.

Now that I've cast off Rob's scarf, I'm going to try and finish up a few projects that have been OTN for a long while... such as the wrap made with the handspun I bought this summer.  And the cabled fingerless mittens I cast on two months ago.  And that blanket made of my scrap yarn.

All of these things and more must be conquered over Thanksgiving Break, which is, THANK GOD, one week from today!

On the other hand, Twilight comes out tomorrow night.

I. Am. So. Excited.  (that's me trying to be contained)

What cracks me up is that two guys I know are reading through the series and loving it!  They're both coming with me to the theater tomorrow night.  I honestly believe this movie will do the book justice.  Their relationship is so intense, it's the only thing I'm not sure you can communicate.  However, I remember reading Stephenie's website when she first visited the set and she said a girl was so wrapped up in the acting in front of her, she slid out of her chair.  I can't wait to see Bella acted out on-screen.  She's such a plain-jane character.  She loves fiercely and she lives her life, making decisions and following through.  She's easy-going, not picky or extravagant.  I don't understand her, because I don't think that way, but I feel like there's so much of her that every girl identifies with.  What I'd like to hear is what guys like about the books.

And look at that, I went and wasted a couple paragraphs talking about Twilight again!  I'm going to grow out of this, I swear.

36 days until Christmas!

Weather today: 54 and cloudy/rainy.

Our room is a wreck and desperately needs some deep cleaning.  Same for the bathroom.  Unfortunately, I have no time.

The Barry Drake convo last night was AMAZING!  He did great and the students just ate it up!  Zach and I went to dinner with Barry, his wife and an old friend of theirs after.  They're such sweet people!

Countdown to Christmas:  44 days!

I've switched to the second skien for Rob's scarf.  It's going to be long enough and totally wicked.

I went home this weekend and spent lots of time with my family.  The dogs and cats are doing well, the siblings are busy with school (and more focused than I remember them being capable of).  Melanie is excited about Belmont.

Formal is in three days.  I have a royal blue dress and the most beautiful red nail polish.  It's going to be a beautiful night.

Countdown til Twilight: 9 days. 15 hours.

I started listening to Christmas music yesterday.  The wreath is on our door, the Christmas towels are out.  My list was sent to the family, it's all coming together!

Friday!!!!!!

Weather: 63 and rainy, fading to cloudy this afternoon.

I knit last night, almost through the first skien on Rob's scarf.  It's beautiful!  Can't wait to get started on that second half, it's going to be perfect.

I have one class and one exam today.  It'll all be over soon.

Countdown to Christmas: 48 days

I leant Twilight to my Little yesterday.  I made her a "soundtrack" and everything!

Speaking of which, the real soundtrack for the movie is out and on iTunes!  I illegally downloaded Bellla's Lullaby.  I couldn't resist.  And now I'm in love.  It's not exactly what I'd been thinking, it's better.  I tend to dislike Bella.  She doesn't do things the way I do, and I struggle to grasp the way that she follows her heart and emotions because I tend to do everything  logically.  This song has a lot more cheer and sweetness in it than my negative paradigm allowed for.  It's certainly better than I imagined, so I'm feeling very hopeful about the movie.

Countdown to Twilight:  13 days. 15 hours. 25 minutes.

We are 7 days from Formal and it's shaping up to be the Night of the Semester!  There's an after party and we're going to the movies to see Quantum of Solace.  It'll be a long night, but we can all sleep when we're dead.

I made my Christmas list.  #1: A subscription to Vogue Knitting! :)

It only gets harder?!

Today's Weather: 76 and Sunny!

Happy Election Day!!!

I can't remember the last time I knit.  It's heartbreaking.

But I do remember how many things I have to do today!!!  My Gov't professor said yesterday that life does not get easier, it only gets harder, "sorry to bust your bubbles!"  I now have no reason to live. ;)  Thanks, Dr. May!

So what, in heavens name, have I been doing besides knitting?

Dr. Byrne, why do you torture me so?!?!?!  The second Celebration of Knowledge (aka Exam of Death) was yesterday...  I don't know how I did....  I have a Map Quiz tomorrow and an exam Friday, a paper due Thursday, a large amount of reading due tomorrow.  Now I'm feeling bad about wasting time here when I should be pouring my soul onto my textbooks.

This past weekend was Halloween, I went as a bumble-bee.

This is me with my friend, Andrew.  (Nothing more than a friend, don't get all excited or anything).  I bought that little dress at the beginning of the year and just added black and antenna and wings.  Viola!  Costume!

Phi Mu has taken up most of my past couple of weeks.  Last week was Boo Bash and this week we have the Phi Tau Social and the Alumni Social, separate nights.  Not to mention the 3-hour meeting we had this past Sunday.  Elections are over, I did not accept any positions, though I was given some very encouraging words from some sisters I do not know very well.

I've had the odd experience this month of people who I don't know knowing me. Basically, twice I was chatting with a friend...

Friend: "I met someone who knows you yesterday!  Do you know [insert name I've never heard here]?"

Me: *blank stare* "No, I'm afraid I don't recognize that name!  But I'm really bad with remembering names and faces..." *sheepish*

Friend: "Well, they're in [names some obscure department I've only seen once]"

Me: "Oh, okay, then I probably have met them!" [or not]

Either I have a very memorable face, people talk about me a lot, or someone else has my name.  These experiences, coupled with the girls in my sorority I hardly know treating me like we're old friends, has made me feel loved and confused.  I think it must be the weather text getting around.

This weekend I get to go home for a friend's bridal shower.  I will spend the majority of my time at home working on a music video project due Monday.  Next week will be beyond crazy.  I have a speaker coming Monday night, pickup another speaker at the airport Tuesday night, put on her show Wednesday morning, then Winter Formal on Friday.  Wish me luck!

Busy busy bee.

We only had two school days last week and I was swamped.  Wednesday and Thursday were eventful for my friend Kate, for whom I played wingman while she got to know a particular guy.  Now the two of them have a date scheduled and are totally gooey-eyed.  It's cute!

Friday night was sorority retreat, we spent the night in tents.  My tent-full went to bed early (12:30 or so) and got some good sleep.  It was great!  I volunteered at Project Cure Saturday afternoon then went to the mall for a few minutes, came back and watched TV and went to bed at 10:30.  Sunday I went to a new church down in Franklin (with kate and her new boy).  I LOVED it!  It was beautiful and a really neat church.  Lunch at Cracker Barrel, back in time to change and go to sorority business meeting, then cafe coco to do homework until 11:30 or so.  Dorm, papers til 1....  Oh, you get the picture.

Basically, I have two exams tomorrow and tonight is a social with a fraternity and pancake night.

*sigh*  College is not normal.  This lifestyle is unrealistic.

I have been knitting a little.  I started on the scarf for Robert with that yarn I post a pic of in the last post.  It is delicious yarn!!! SOOO soft and way warm... It's masculine and reminds me of Fall.  Robert will love it.

That's all for now.  Hopefully I'll have the time later and something interesting to say!

Fall Break

First, got my hair cut today, and had it straightened.  If ONLY I could have it this way every day!  But it takes so long and is such a bother, I just can't do it every day.

Yesterday the Fam and I went to Kentucky Down Under.  We fed lots of birds and pet kangeroos and, my personal favorite, got to see all kinds of sheep!  They had nine rams, all different breeds, including a gigantic Merino.  His wool was oily and gross on the outside, but if you pulled it apart, underneath it was clean and soft.

Naturally, I just had to have some Merino for myself.

And here it is!  For Robert's Christmas present (don't tell him.)

I love it.  It's got a lot of very masculine colors in it and will make a wonderful cabled scarf.  It's also very very soft, and I'm sure we all know mens' tendency to avoid itchy things.  Also, Robert has a very particular sense of style and appearance, so he's sensitive about what he'll wear.  Therefore, I have to author a scarf that involves cable and is preppy but in no way feminine.  I'll stop before I make myself nervous.

Back to school tomorrow.  And I haven't done hardly a stitch of homework.  *sigh*

Looking Forward to a Break...

Weather today: 72 and sunny! Long sleeves (I just took off my jacket for the pic).

Countdown to Fall Break....  Two days.

Amount of homework this week:  Hellish.

Disappointment of the day: Maura possibly not coming to pancake night.  I needed some bestie time.  *sigh*

Looking forward to: Pancake Night!

Having survived (barely?) the Celebration of Knowledge (aka, Exam of Death), I picked up a handout on my way out of Dr. Byrne's class Monday morning.  On the handout: our assignments for this week.  40 pgs. reading due the next day.  100 pages of reading and a 3-page paper due Thursday.  In Microeconomics, Dr. Vilikova reminded us to be working on the assignment due Saturday called Commanding Heights.  Sounded easy enough.  "Watch three videos, answer 5 questions."  Not half so simple.  Each video is 2 hours long and the five questions are supposed to be answered with 2-page essays.  Needless to say, I haven't slept much.  I am, however, knitting while I watch these videos on Microeconomics.  I truly love economics.  It's so logical!

I finished the garter and the red scarf.  Now I've cast on for the fun of it!  I have to start Christmas gifts soon, but a few inches into these fingerless mittens and I just don't feel like they'd do for my sister, so I'll keep them for me.  I want to give Melanie some mittens with mohair lace on them.  Robert will be getting a hardcore hat, hopefully made of unique hand-died.  We'll see.  Mom?  Well, she's incredibly hard to shop for.  She always has everything she needs! And she's forever complaining about what clothes make her feel all hot and she's changing clothes a lot.  I wanted to get her a tea pot, but she pretty much only drinks iced tea and coffee...  Arg!  Daddy's pretty easy.  He loves to shop, so I get him gift cards.  Usually.

Fun thing I did this week:  make a legit list of requirements for my future husband!  Lots of women have these lists.  I had one started, but Sunday my roomie and a friend and I were doing homework at Cafe Coco for nearly 3 hours and we got bored.  So I pulled up my Long-Term To Do Lists folder on the comp and found my incomplete list.  I won't post it here, but we'll be walking some other girls through this fun and hilarious process tonight at Pancake Night!

So, off I go to get on that 100 pages of reading and writing those dangblasted papers.

Studying? yeah, right.

What's the greatest enemy of studying?

The internet.

Seriously, I'm about ready to call a no-electronics day!  I have to disconnect my ethernet cord and turn off Airport to get much studying done.  Class material is slowly becoming more and more electronic.  My gov't class is half online articles, half regular printed ones.  My Ancient World class is the same way, so is my economics class.  Quizzes, tests, study sheets, notes, articles and other reading material, instructions, syllabus... It's all online.

"That must be great!" you say?  "Everything is so easy to access!"

Yes.

But guess what else is on the internet....

Facebook, the home of Flair and stalking.  Abc.go.com, the home of Dirty Sexy Money, Desparate Housewives, etc.  AbcFamily.com, where new episodes of Greek and One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl appear.  Knitty.com, Knotions.com, Yarn Harlot, Panopticon, Style.com, websudoku.com, foxnews.com and CNN.com and Comics.com!

It was  great idea, the TAB option...  I mean, I can have my homework in one tab, then I'll be only a click away from a television show or knitting blog.

I've taken to setting my watch to 15-minute timer.  I'll ready/study for 15 minutes, then take at 5 minute break.... or a 10 minute break..... or... well, you get the picture?

This is why I don't want a job that puts me at a computer.

Knitting update!  I went to a shop called Knaughty Knitter in Murfreesboro this Friday night.  I bought 100% handspun Uruguayan wool in a delicious color: burgundy.  I'm going to make a short scarf in feather-and-fan pattern.  Hopefully I can buy some big sparkly broach and use it as a pin?  I'm in love, needless to say.

I also bought some very pure white kid mohair.  It's for a gift I'm giving a friend of mine who is getting married.  I'm going to give her a regular gift - a toaster or something - and also a handknit garter.  It'll have a very red ribbon through it.  I'll post pictures once I'm cast on.

I'm getting up tomorrow to take a walk.  I find that without regular exercise, I become a restless, edgy, annoyed person.  So, 5:30AM, hello sunrise!  (actually, the sun won't rise til 6:35 according to weather.com)

I found a great quote for the weather text tomorrow morning.

What is the weather text, you ask?

Last year, sometime in the fall, there was a very rainy day.  It has long been my routine to get online first thing in the morning and look at the day's forecast.  So, naturally, I was armed for the rain.  After three or four people said something along the lines of "I had no idea it was going to rain all day!  I wish I'd brought my umbrella!"  I got curious.  So, I asked people.

"Don't you check the weather forecast before you leave your room in the morning?"

And was stared at as if I'd just got off the banana boat.

O......k...... Something must be done!  And so, the weather text was invented.  I got up one morning and texted all my friends, telling them what the weather would be like that day.  They loved it.  I now text around 85 people every morning, usually including some cute quote or encouragement.

Back to tomorrow's weather text.  I was listening to a song by Natasha Beddingfield and it says this:

"A face without freckles is like a sky without the stars.  Why waste a second not loving who you are?"  It goes on to say... "Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valueable, they show your personality inside your heart, reflecting who you are."

Sweet, huh?

Well, that American Government exam isn't going to take itself.  I've got to get back to studying.  *sigh*  Maybe I'll find time this week to go sit at Angel Hair for a while.  After all, if I'm going to work at a shop, I might as well get involved with one early!

P.S. 95 days til Christmas!

I've been knitting!!!

The past two weeks have been unbelievable.  The 2+ hours of sorority stuff every night and 100+ pages of reading to do a day were pretty much overwhelming, but I'm still alive and got to take a nap today!!! (without skipping class to do it, haha)

There's still lot going on and it makes me reflect on how much is too much.  So many of these college kids seem to have been raised to move from one activity to another.  They're in 4 clubs and taking 19 hours and volunteering and working... Every time I try to do that, I fall apart.  As soon as I stop getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night, I become a depressed version of my normal self.  I'd rather be a very happy - if disappointingly inactive - version of myself than a stressed out, eye-twitching version of myself, you know?

I honestly don't understand what is to be gained by living such a crazy busy life, anyway.  Besides a better job someday?

I got a new keyboard!  Well, actually, I traded my old one with a friend to get this one.  Here's a picture! :) It's still in the box there, but that's really how thin it is!!! And it's not even as wide as the box, if you can imagine.  A tiny little keyboard.  I LOVE IT!!!!!

Okay, so back to my knitting!!! I finally got time to go check out Angel Hair Yarn Co. here in Greenhills, TN.  I was actually pretty disappointed.  I believe they were picked over from the weekend, but there wasn't much of a yarn selection (not compared to Crafty Hands back home).  As a result, it took me a while to find what I wanted, but I eventually picked up some stuff... I don't remember what and I'm too lazy to go find it.  I cast on for some fingerless mitts and I'll post pictures eventually.

I was going to upload a video for ya, but it's not working.  So you'll have to go without!  Too bad...

Back to reading my 100 pages for the night.

Deep Thoughts

I'm sitting in my dorm room, watching Ace of Cakes and ignoring the mile-long To Do list in my planner...

Knitting?  Yeah, haven't been doing that much lately.  Between twice-a-week Program Board Meetings and 3 hours minimum in the PB office, two-hour-a-day sorority recruitment practice and Dr. Byrne's 30+ pages per night of reading, I'm barely treading water.  I was called yesterday and asked if I would make 200 cupcake-cheesecakes for next Friday.  I said yes (bangs head against wall).  I'm such an idiot.

I've done a lot of deep thinking lately.  I don't like deep thinking, but it's time to do some.

Two of my close buddies here are seriously considering transferring.  Both are figuring out what they'll do in the future.  I've been thinking about that, too.  After I graduate, do I want to get a job with a big business?  Become a manager or founder of a small business?  Start my own wedding planning or knitting shop?  If I did decide to do one of those things, I need to get involved with those businesses and learn about them.  I do have a better idea of what I like to do:  I like to work with people, to interact with customers and be in an active space.  In other words, it's time to start planning, preparing and saving.

I still feel insecure here.  I love being with my family and I don't like living somewhere where I don't feel like I have anyone who 'takes care of me.'  I don't mean that I need someone cooking my meals and doing my laundry, I mean purely in a social and emotional sense. I am myself when I feel safe, and I feel safe when I'm with people I've known for a looong time.  This is why I love spending time with Maura or Deborah or other high school friends.  Why I love being at home with my Mom.  These people know me and love me and I trust them.  Sure, I have friends here, but none that are close like that.  Not yet, anyway.

I don't mean that I can't make new friends.  I can and do enjoy making new friends.  But I feel like I need the support and reassurance of my family and old friends on a more regular basis than I'm receiving now.  If I spend a couple hours with my family or an old friend every day, I make new friends faster.  Does that make sense?

A friend today told me that I should try and find my security within myself, to learn to create my own security where I am and not rely on my family so much.

I believe this reliance on my family developed in middle school, when I changed schools after 5th grade and then after 6th grade and again after 7th grade.  We also changed churches within those years.  I was in a different environment every year and wasn't allowed to create and keep friendships for an extended period of time.  The only people who remained constant in that turmoil were my family members.

Now I need to decide if my friends' idea that now is the time to "break away and create your own path" is the correct one, or simply a result of public schools encouraging separation from family as part of life.  There are no great emotional or social or other disfunctions in my family.  We're very healthy people - both mind and body.

What to do?  *sigh*

About those knitting projects...

I'm feeling much better about things today.  Due to troubles with my car, I won't be moving in until Thursday - which means Mom will be helping me!  I've also talked to several friends on the phone and they all have plans to get together and catch up, which sounds nice.  And I miss Cafe Coco...

I forgot to update on the project I mentioned a while ago.  That birthday gift for my friend?  It turned out wonderfully!  The bright colors are exactly what she loves and I went ahead and gave it to her because she had a present for me from her latest Europe trip.  Sweetheart. :D

I have since then finished knitting a sweater.  I still have to sew everything together (I did get one arm on there! haha)  And I'll have to knit the frontbands and sew on the buttons.

Here's what the sweater will look like, only it's a "marsh green" ultra alpaca.

We went to Enchanted last Friday and I think I'm in love!  The shop is beautiful!  I bought some handspun wool/merino blend made right here in Kentucky.  It's a very natural off-white color (I'm pretty sure it wasn't died.)  I'm making this wrap with it:  

I'm almost completely packed for school.  Only a few little things to go.

This will also be the third night in a row that I've cried over the going-back-to-school thing.  I've been thinking a lot about it and not going is absolutely not an option.  Why, then, am I so upset?

I like having a family.  I love being in a home where I know that down the hall is someone(s) who loves me very, very much.  Someone who doesn't mind me being makeup-less or goofy.  Someone who supports my dreams, like my Mom, or who loves to just sit with me and read, like Melanie.  Someone who loves to share things with me, like Dad.  People I belong to.

At school, I don't have that family.  It's just me, making friends with people who probably won't be a part of my life in six months, let alone six years.  I like having a team that I see every day.  I like supporting my teammates and I love being loved by them.  When you're in those beginning stages of a relationship - and nearly all relationships in college are in beginning stages - you don't share love and support.  It's all about the fun, getting used to each other.  You can't rely on those beginning stage relationships for anything more than a fun night out or a little help with homework.  Those people don't see you and say "You look tired, have you been sleeping okay?"  They don't laugh at you and tell stories about "that one time...."

I was also very shocked at the lack of enthusiasm about anything I wanted to do this past year. I admit that I do have the dreams of a middle-aged woman.  If given the choice of traveling the world with a band and moving into a home in the suburbs, I'd pick the home any day.  I'd rather wake up and make coffee and run errands to the grocery and cleaners than go to work at a huge office.  I like to go to bed early, I'm a morning person, I eat healthy food and don't drink, I knit, I read... Basically I'm all of everything "not cool" in the dictionary, not to mention my parents are happily married and still madly in love.  Most kids I've met think that's the most un-natural thing ever.  To them, it's not reality and I've been reassured that the chances of me meeting someone and staying married for more than 2 years are 1:1,000,000,000.  That breaks my heart.  I don't believe them, but I feel sorry that someone could have so little faith.

I think it's interesting how truly important my dreams are to me.  I never realized before how very serious I was about my plans for the future -whether they be what kind of house I'd like to have or what I want for Christmas - until this past year at school.  Before, in high school, I was in an environment where everyone is unique and is supported.  No one ever said anything against my talking about what I'd like the sunroom to look like or how many roses I want in my wedding or what kind of minivan I will drive.  These things were admired by my peers because they were almost exclusively from two-parent homes where mom stays at home and raises the kids while dad provides.  At Belmont, however, I was suddenly surrounded by people who believed my life was something you only see on television.  They were also people who had been raised in schools where teasing and criticism were the norm.  I was devastated.

The solution is simple, right?  Don't take them seriously or don't let something like a silly idea such as what kind of coffee pot you'll have someday be so important to you.  The latter I've found increasingly hard to do.  My dreams fuel me.  I need those little ideas to keep me energized about today.  It's not negative - I KNOW that most of those things will never happen - but the idea of them gives me the boost to do things today that might help me reach those goals.  Now I must simply teach myself not to take them seriously.  Or make new friends.

I'm leaning toward the latter of those two.

But that puts me back at the beginning, in relationships that I can't rely on.

School = trying to run through water.  Hard, painful, and pointless.  How will I ever learn to swim?

Don't Expect Much

I'm really not very consistent with things like blogs.  That is, I don't consistently write in them.  I do, however, read them consistently.  I have a morning routine.... And an evening routine, both of which involve reading of some sort.

Since I do love to read so much, I began work on a novel last fall.  It's now almost fall again and I have a total of 25 pages on this computer.  Mostly I've spent a year throwing ideas around and I'll undoubtedly re-do everything I've got before eventually giving up, but competition was always a good motivator for me and I'm determined to finish before my little sister finishes hers.  So, I've written a little each day for two days now.  Yay!

Knitting update: still working on my best friend's birthday present.  Her birthday is in November, but I like to get these things done early... And I found a pattern that I simply HAD to do ASAP.  You know how that obsession goes.  Here it is:  Ruffle Scarf

The colors I chose look like clown barf, but they work well together and are the kind of colors that look great on my friend's darker features.  I'll post a picture soon.

Reading: Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice.  This latest Star Wars series is boring.  The wars going on in the galaxy far, far away are way too complicated to provide much in the way of action.  There's a lot of politics and some turns that I don't like much.  Luke Skywalker is a pacifist, Mara Jade is a fussy mother, Ben Skywalker is a tormented soul, Jacen Solo a calculating emo, Han and Leia are MIA.  And there's a whole string with Boba Fett and his homeworld that seems to have come out of nowhere.  Basically, these books are meant to be light and full of battle and spur-of-the-moment romance and rescues.  Now they're more about what the leaders of such-and-so planet are doing to cause planet B to arm for battle while Planet C recovers from devestation and Person A changes laws to become ruler of the galaxy and Person D tries to solve everything without bloodshed.  Not exactly what I expected from my old favorites, you know?  But there's always another book... namely...

BREAKING DAWN!!!!!!!!!

Please read the Twilight series.  There are three books and all of them are completely addicting - for girls, at least.  I've been reflecting on the draw of these novels and have concluded:

1. girls love them because they identify with Bella.  Bella (main character) is an ordinary girl, blind to her own attractiveness to the male sex, clumsy, and does ordinary things like homework and laundry.

2. Edward (main boy) has ethics.  Despite Bella's attempts to make him have sex with her before they get married, his gentlemanly insistance on doing things the old-fashioned way is extremely attractive to girls.  There's something about those old rules that make us feel safe.  If Edward and Bella HAD done the sex thing early in their relationship, the books would not have the same draw.  As it is, in literature and in real life, saving sex adds intensity to the relationship.

3. It's forbidden love (Romeo and Juliet) and the Peter Pan choice (family vs. love/eternity).  Both very drawing themes because of danger and pain.  Danger in that Bella's life is threatened by Edward's very presence.  Pain for every normal human she's ever known, all of whom she must forsake when she marries Edward.

4. It's King Arthur all over again.  These triangles happen all the time in real life and have been a staple in literature for generations.  Bella (Guenevere) is in love with two men, Edward (Lancelot) and Jacob (Arthur).  Though the fourth book won't come out til August 2nd *fan-girl scream*, I believe she will choose Lancelot.  You simply cannot force that kind of attraction.

Anywho, I cannot breath for excitement about this book.  I'm not as obsessed as my little sis, but I do enjoy a good resolution, don't you?

Now I'm gonna go work on that birthday gift.  I MUST FINISH!  haha